Apollo's Curse by Brad Vance

on page 7 of Alex that has her eye to eye with the produce guy, fighting about an order, and it says ‘he towered above most women, but not Alex, so he couldn’t intimidate her easily.’ So he’s a tall guy. But then there’s this line on page 150, ‘Alex looked up into Devin’s face, hovering above her like the sun.’ So, how tall is this guy, is he a giant or something? If he’s taller than the guy who towers above women, he has to be, right?” I went on from there. A hostess with green eyes that flashed, then sparkled, then glittered, at various points in the book. “We get it, right? Why the repetition? It’s lazy. This character’s nasty, okay, but give us something besides her eyes to show it.” Then there was the major crime. “Look at the fr ontloading. ‘Alex had gone to the Culinary Institute of America despite her parents’ wishes and found that she loved the competitive environment. All her life she’d had to work harder, be better, than the men around her, just to get to a lower rung of the ladder. Soon she was at the top of her class and being recruited by top chefs around the country. Now she’d landed a job in Devin’s kitchen.’” “So?” Rose asked. “So, you need to show, not tell. It’s like…journalism when you write like that, just shoveling someone’s life resume in without building it out. Teasing it out. Letting us get to know a person the way you would in real life. Bit by bit. Why not do a flashback to school, where she’s getting elbowed by some guy in a class demonstration, o